I Don't Understand.

I’m finding it terribly hard to understand things lately. And to be honest I’m not sure I want to. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are things in this world that are hard to explain.

Recently… My family and I were attacked by an entity. I never thought I’d meet one, I have a handle on my shit. He was attracted by my mother, and she’s highly psychic but doesn’t know what to do with her abilities. He’d been waking her up for almost a month or two. I dropped it as my mom would figure out how to remove him.

It not being my problem and what not– (I know, I know. I’m a selfish cunt hush.) however. I wasn’t expecting him to come to me at all. And the first time I woke up in the dead of night and saw him. I screamed fucking loud, I don’t feel bad. The guy was like 7 feet tall and I could see part of his face. (Mind you I’m just starting to be able to connect with spirits and the like.)

Well, my family didn’t know I was a tarot reader til recent. I mean they knew I owned the cards, but didn’t know what I was about or doing. So the next morning or so, my mother’s boyfriend confronts me about work. And I told him– to take this short he pretty much said I had to cut my shit because it was MY fault this incubus was haunting my mother. Which is a lie, he attached himself to her, I hadn’t anything to do with it. I didn’t stop because reading is my life. And I know I’m not doing anything wrong but helping others. Religious people take things too far me thinks… Anywho– the next day after that I woke up sometime early in the morning I’m not sure what time but I know it was just before sunset.

I see these eyes, staring at me from my door way. I screamed a little but it wasn’t so loud it was like a really loud gasp.(Scrasp hue)  But my house is small enough you hear everything. He disappears and I go back to sleep. This guy was so persistent in waking me up. He woke me up shortly after, this time I was like “Go away.” I was pretty pissed. I think he was trying to rape and posess me at one point because I kept waking up to jolts of energy on different parts of my body but I felt so tired I didn’t do anything about it. I just ended up passing back out each time. Finally, it was when I felt pain near my private area and it felt a little weird. That I woke up. But didn’t know what to do about it, so I went back to sleep. Basically the entire night I was woken up a lot. I had to sleep with amy brightest lamp and my night-light. Yes, twenty and sleeping with a night-light. Sue me.

I was so scared and angry at the same time. After that I wasn’t to be messed with, because I stayed up for like two days straight protecting my family and blocking him out of my thoughts. He wanted to do bad things to us. I can’t stress that enough. Basically I had to spend two weeks trying to clear my name and take the blame because the house was basically calling me a witch and that I did this. Still kinda hurts to think about it still. Nobody trusted me enough to help them. I’ve just been giving protection things from different sites I use. I really even resorted to wicca, which isn’t bad it’s doing the job. Pretty well I think. Anyways– the guy, I later found out his name is Pan– but not really Pan, just like a short name I suppose?

My friend pretty much came to help, and we’ve never been better. Pan really strengthened our bond a little. He let Pan posess him, and Pan started to do things to him. And him being into dark shit. Black Magick, really didn’t help, my friend is weak mind and body so you can imagine what he was trying with him. I know all of this sounds fake. But even now I worry for my loved ones. I’m constantly on guard, and tbh it’s not terrible but it’s really draining. I’m not sure how this will end… Lets just hope he doesn’t come back. It’s been a long month. This obviously isn’t everything, but it’s enough for you to get the idea.

Original Date: 11/07/2016